As relationship coaches, we are constantly asked for
relationship advice about how to create better than average
relationships. One thing we tell people that they must begin
doing if they want to improve their relationship is to start
focusing attention on it.

While focusing attention on your relationship can be specific
for each relationship, there are a few things that any couple
can do to create a closer, more connected relationship.

Whether you need dating tips and dating advice or marriage advice,
any of these suggestions might help your relationship to become closer.

1. If you and your partner want to create a better than average
relationship, you have to spend the time and attention to make it so.
There are no short-cuts. Either you decide that your relationship is
important or it isn't as important as a million other things that are in
your life right now. It won't matter what each of you say that you
want in your relationship. Your actions are what show what you
really feel.

Suggestion: Look at your actions and make sure they are in agreement
with what you and your loved one say your intentions are. Are you
and your partner spending enough time together, having fun and enjoying
each other? Are you and your loved one finding romantic ideas to
become closer?

2. Express gratitude for your sweetheart and tell them you care about
them. The thought may have crossed your mind that you should express
some appreciation to each other and just have not taken the time or energy
to do it. You each might have said to yourselves--"My partner knows that
I care and think that he/she is great." In our opinion, this thought alone isn't
enough. You have to act on that thought and actually say the words or
express it in some other way. We would urge you to make a habit appreciating
each other and watch how you grow closer.

Suggestion: Think of the things your sweetheart does for you or what they
mean to you and express your thoughts to them. An example could be
something as simple as "I like your smile" or "I appreciate you taking out
the garbage."

3. Focus on what you hold dear and totally love concerning the person
instead of what you don't like. We honestly do receive more of the things
we focus on. If you and your loved one wish to stop jealousy, infidelity
and possibly divorce, begin focusing around what's desirable in your
relationship and not on the discouraging.

Suggestion: Stop talking when you begin to criticize your loved one,
with words or possibly in your mind. Turn your attention to the things
you like concerning your partner and start to find out how your
relationship gets better.

4. Say what you want in your relationship. If you and your partner
want more intimacy and affection, you have to communicate to each
other what you want. If you want more time together, tell your partner
in a way that is playful rather than making your partner guilty.

Tip: What wants have you never told your loved one? Whether or not
it's a desire to have more "out to dinner dates" with your significant other,
more romance, or more assistance with household chores, the only way
for getting what you want is to ask.

5. If you want to create a relationship that is better than good, you have
to begin opening your heart and soul to each other. Even if you have gone
through a breakup in the past and find that you have closed your heart,
you have to permit loved ones in. Opening is sometimes tough when we've
been hurt in the past but we've found that it is the only way to create a
better relationship.

Tip: Discover what walls you and your sweetheart have built to prevent
each other from coming in. Begin opening up more to each other.

These relationship tips are presented with the belief that you and your
significant other will use them to create relationships that are affectionate,
caring, alive and thriving.